


Hugs, Snugs, and Cuddle Bugs

by a2h1ey



Series: Cap-Ironman Bingo (2020 Round 1) Fills [2]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Accidental Plot, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Aromantic spectrum, Asexuality Spectrum, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Canon Divergence - Post-Avengers (2012), Cuddling & Snuggling, Demiromantic Tony Stark, Demisexual Tony Stark, F/M, Gen, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Have your daily dose of Tony Cuddles, He gets a Lot of hugs, Hurt Tony Stark, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Emotional Abuse, Insecure Tony, James "Rhodey" Rhodes & Tony Stark Friendship, James "Rhodey" Rhodes is a Good Bro, Kind of - Freeform, Learning how to Live Life and Love, Light Angst, M/M, Minor Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Platonic Cuddling, Platonic Relationships, Probably not though, Protective Team, Tags May Change, Team as Family, They're still best friends in the end though, Tony Stark Gets a Hug, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Has Panic Attacks, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony-centric, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, but only for a little bit, nothing happens though, this was supposed to be short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-07
Updated: 2020-02-07
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:22:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22597009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a2h1ey/pseuds/a2h1ey
Summary: Tony had always been sure he was ‘broken’.At least, that’s what he’s been told time and time again.(He knew he was, it was simply a fact.)
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Series: Cap-Ironman Bingo (2020 Round 1) Fills [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1623757
Comments: 5
Kudos: 155
Collections: Captain America/Iron Man Bingo





	Hugs, Snugs, and Cuddle Bugs

**Author's Note:**

> AKA: The Life and Times of an Aro/Ace-Spec Genius Billionaire Philanthropist
> 
> My second fill for my Cap-Ironman Bingo 2020 Round 1 card, square N5!  
> My updated Bingo Card can be [found here.](https://i.imgur.com/WWAcXzv.png)
> 
> This was supposed to be a short fluffy fic about Ace/Aro-Spec Tony realizing he's in more of the Demiace/Demiaro range and just filled with fluff and cuddles, but then... somehow it became This.
> 
> Anyways, I guess this is my own rewrite of Tony's life up to, including, and after 2012. I'm quite proud of this one, even though it went a completely different direction then intended. 
> 
> Reminder: Everyone experiences sexual/romantic attractions differently! This is based a little bit on my own personal experiences as someone who's Aro/Ace-Spec themself, along with experiences shared by others in the spectrum. So please keep that in mind while reading and just in general; respecting someone else's views should be the standard, not the exception. :)
> 
> TW: Please read the tags! And hope you enjoy.

Tony had always been sure he was ‘broken’. 

At least, that’s what he’s been told time and time again. (He knew he was, it was simply a fact.)

He never fit in, no matter what he did; his views on the world were different, his views on society, and… his views on other people.

In boarding school, he was once asked his thoughts on a ‘foxy girl’ in a magazine one of the boys had snuck in.

Tony said she looked really healthy, but maybe a bit too skinny? Should eat more; Ana always said that while being fit was nice, being too thin could be dangerous to one’s health. (She always tried to get him to eat more whenever he came home, slipping him extra slices of cake.)

The other boys had given him strange looks, called him a bunch of names which Ana would wash his mouth with soap if she ever caught him saying them, and then completely ignored him when they went back to looking at the magazine.

It would only be months later, after paying closer attention to how others looked at other people, that he understood.

Understood he was… missing something, and it drove him to distraction trying to figure out what.

By the time he went to MIT, at the age of fourteen, Tony realized he just didn’t understand ‘sexual attraction’. At least, not in the way other people seemed to, well, ‘normalize’, or even ‘idealize’ it.

By then he had learned how to wear masks, how to easily slip in with the ‘popular crowd’. So it wasn’t that hard to convince himself, during a party, to give it a go for the first time with a girl he met there.

It was… awkward, at best. 

What he learned was called ‘foreplay’ was nice; he had always been more tactile, enjoyed hugs whenever possible. But when they tried to go further, he just… couldn’t. (He felt extremely uncomfortable; almost grossed out in his own skin by the time he ended it.)

It would be almost a year before he worked up the nerve to try again at a different party, but this time with a guy. He knew being gay was a thing; maybe he could do it like this?

Except it ended up being the same thing all over again; the touching was nice, but when they tried to go further he just honestly felt more and more uncomfortable before he called it quits. But the guy, Tyberius, just kept pushing, not listening at all, and Tony almost fell into a complete panic before he was saved by someone pushing Ty away and taking Tony back to their own dorm to sleep off the awful experience.

That was the day he met his first real friend, best friend for life, and brother in all but blood.

Rhodey was a miracle, and Tony could never figure out what he did to deserve him.

Because of all the things Rhodey did for him, he would always count that the most personal was when, only a few weeks after they met, Rhodey told him about ‘Asexuality’; how it was much more common than he would think. And just as being gay or bi wasn’t being ‘broken’, the same went for being ace.

Tony would forever deny that he cried a bit when he was told that. (Told that he wasn’t broken, even if it wasn’t true.) But he would never deny that his honeybear gave the best hugs.

For the rest of the time at MIT (and even after, whenever they had more than a day together when Rhodey had breaks from duty) Rhodey offered a barrier and reassurance, reminding him that he didn’t need to be ‘normal’ to be okay, and was more than happy to offer cuddles whenever Tony needed them. (It became common for them to share a bed; Tony found it was much easier to fall asleep at night when Rhodey was there, wrapped around him, snorting in amusement when he just snuggled closer and called him a 'cuddlebug'. It was so warm.)

Of course, for the sake of appearances, he kept up the ‘act’. 

He never again tried to go further than touches and maybe a bit of heavy kissing if he was particularly drunk, but most of the time he just brought his ‘dates’ home.

And, well, he guessed they didn’t want to be the ones who ‘weren’t good enough for Tony Stark’, so the rumors just continued to build.

For years, even after his parents died and he went on what he would later admit to as ‘running away from all his responsibilities’, he wouldn’t question his sexuality again, long since made peace with it.

It was fine; he had his platypus whenever Rhodey came home; there was Happy, who was more than willing to indulge with a hug or two whenever Tony felt the need; and then there was Pepper.

Pepper made him feel things he never felt before; and it was months after working with her that, late one night when he was on day two of a working binge and was zoning out with his thoughts (again) lingering on Pepper, he wondered if he wasn’t quite as ace as he thought.

Of course, the thought immediately led to a full blown panic attack.

It was only after JARVIS talked him down from the attack and he called Rhodey that he calmed enough to think rationally. Or as rationally as being Tony Stark could be.

And, well… after a few more weeks of dithering, he decided to try it out. At least only the ‘dating’ bit, anyways.

After they got past the awkward stage, dating someone as amazing as Pepper was… well. Honestly he never had as much fun except when Rhodey came around and they managed to convince Happy to drive them to somewhere ridiculous. (Which has happened more than a few times.)

Everything of course was kept ‘chaste’; he never got quite comfortable for anything more, and Pepper was more than happy to respect that.

Though he did wonder, as time went on, maybe someday…?

Then Afghanistan happened, and his sexuality (or the lack there-of) crisis was the furthest thing from his mind.

When he came back (broken, he came back shattered and his heart was cut out and the water kept getting on the battery and he was being electrocuted dyingpleasemakeitstop-) less than he was but still a bit wiser for it, Yinsen’s words echoing through his mind, he would never be the same. 

He knew it (for once) and everyone else knew it.

And after Obi-Obadiah’s betrayal, for the longest time as much as he wanted to just snuggle into his friends and loved ones arms, he could barely stand to be touched. (The first time he let Rhodey hug him longer than a few seconds, just relaxing at the touch, he felt unspeakably grateful.)

His and Pepper’s relationship became increasingly strained (all of his relationships became strained; later he would wonder what made Rhodey and Happy forgive him), and when the palladium poisoning set in…

After everything was said and done (Fury and Howard and Natalie/Natasha stabbing him in the neck even if it was to save his life) he and Pepper just… drifted. Tony was never going to give up being Iron Man (he was Iron Man) and Pepper didn’t need the stress on top of being CEO. 

At the end of the day, he was just thankful that they easily, if somewhat awkwardly at first, slid back into the close friendship they had. He was thankful all of them stayed, even if they didn’t have a reason to.

Things settled for the most part, and Tony had finally gotten the arc reactor running for the the building that would soon become the HQ for Stark Industries. For the first time in years he felt comfortable in his own skin (the nightmares and panic attacks and constant anxiety thrumming under the surface never went away, but he didn’t expect it to) and content with the way things were going for the most part.

But then Agent (he refused to call him Coulson let alone Phil, and he was pretty sure the agent was more resigned than anything, so he ran with it) showed up because apparently… aliens. 

And rage monsters that were also really brilliant scientists. 

Also super spies. 

And apparently Captain America was still alive, so... that was cool.

Either way, Tony knew the peace couldn’t have lasted, and sucked in a breath before doing what he did best: diving in head first.

Later, when he was on the helicarrier, striding into the main deck with all the suave ego he had mastered decades ago, he would forever deny (at least, to anyone else) that seeing his long-time hero alive and in uniform made his heart beat faster, and he had to keep from acting like a middle school girl meeting her idol. That would have just been embarrassing is what that was. (Thankfully Fury never picked up on that detail… at least he doesn’t think he did, anyways.) 

At the same time, he also had to squash down long, lingering feelings about the man Howard had spent more time searching for than spending with his wife and son, the man Tony had been compared to for the majority of his young life. (Someone who wasn’t broken like Tony was.)

Thankfully trying to track down magic space rubik’s cubes with a scientist whose brain Tony just wanted to pick apart was a wonderful distraction from anything that had to do with Mr. All American.

That is, until said long-lost hero started talking him down.

And Tony, who had long since learned to never back down, gave him his best press smile and snarked right back. 

“Take off the suit, what are you?”

“I know men who are worth ten of you.”

For all of how true those words were and how sincerely they were said (by Captain America, because it was only right that someone as good as him would hate someone like Tony) Tony had learned long ago to never let them see your reactions; they always did enjoy it when they saw you hurting.

Really, if it wasn’t for the explosions, blows would have been dealt. As it was, Tony found it easy to put aside the ‘talk’ while he and Cap ran for their gear. 

Later, when Fury was shuffling through Agent’s cards, smeared with his blood (he knew those cards; Tony and Pepper had personally given him a few of the rarer ones for his collection) Tony felt… cold. Disconnected.

And at the same time, his mind was running faster than it had since Obadiah had taken his reactor. 

After all, for all that Cap was right about him (for all that Natasha was right about that assessment: Iron Man yes, Tony Stark no) there was one thing he was wrong about; if nothing else, even if he lost the suit and his entire wealth, he still had his genius.

“I know where he’s going to hit.”

If he couldn’t offer anything else (money wasn’t going to fix anything here) then he at least had this.

Much later, Tony would remember the battle in bits and pieces, starting with watching an army fly down from a hole in the sky that had appeared right over his newly built tower, and including when Loki knocked him out of his tower after his failed attempt to mind control him.

He would remember seeing arrows fly with extreme prejudice, Hawkeye taking out aliens flying by at extreme speeds with ease.

He would remember watching the Black Widow hijack one of the aliens’ flying vehicles.

He would remember watching the Hulk stop one of the monster whale creatures in its tracks.

He would remember watching Thor’s lightning light up the sky, taking out an entire squad of aliens with one strike.

He would remember watching Captain America’s shield go flying, catching in the light as it knocked down several aliens in one blow.

And he would remember guiding the nuke up into the portal, how he quickly lost oxygen, and how his last thoughts were, as the alien armada blew up like a supernova, how he never told Pepper thank you.

For giving him a chance to be even a little bit ‘normal’, even just the once. 

Even if he knew Rhodey would have argued he was enough as he was, it was still… nice to experience what everyone else experienced.

Of course, waking up was a surprise in and of itself, and if he believed in such things he would have called it a miracle.

Instead, he did what Tony Stark did best: talk.

“You guys want shawarma?”

Once Thor took Loki, the Tesseract, and the Sceptre (that thing was way too dangerous to just keep around, since SHIELD clearly couldn’t be trusted with making sure their things weren’t taken) back to Asgard, the Avengers scattered to the wind.

At least, that’s how Tony thought it would go.

During their shawarma feast, after he offered rooms in the Tower to nap in once Loki was dealt with, he casually mentioned they had permanent residency in the Tower if they wanted. 

Of course he didn’t think much would come of it. 

After the Battle of Manhattan, as the media had taken to calling it, was over and done with and clean up began (Tony sponsored the majority of it via the Maria Stark Foundation; and if he donated anonymously large sums of money to other relief charities and organizations? Well, no one but JARVIS needed to know), Rhodey, Pepper, and Happy quickly made their way to check he was okay.

And, when he saw them, he… well, he felt a lot of things.

Pure warmth was one of them. 

And when they ended up all cuddling together on the couch, with Tony snuggled right in the middle? Honestly, Tony swore he had everything he needed right there.

Then, weeks later after the repairs had finished on the Tower and the floors were prepared (again, he never thought much would come of his invitation, but he was man that stood by his word) Bruce showed up, smiling awkwardly in the foyer with a small backpack in hand.

Tony, more than happy to see the fellow scientist, easily brought him upstairs to his room and showed him the extra labs he built.

It was easy to say that within a few weeks, Tony had come to appreciate his time with his science bro, and that for all that Bruce rarely initiated touch, Tony was more than happy that he seemed fine and more than a bit amused to his hugs and casual touches.

Then a week after that, the two wonder spies appeared.

Clint had taken over the vents by the end of that first week, and Nat had claimed one corner of the biggest couch on the commons floor.

Within a month, they both accepted Tony’s casual (and cautious; Tony didn’t push as he didn’t want them to be uncomfortable, but he still slipped sometimes when he was tired) touches, and even initiated more than a few.

For someone as tactile (and touch-starved, though only Rhodey said that… and Pepper… and Happy…) as Tony, he was over the moon, with even those small touches.

Then Cap came back from his road trip across the country.

Things were awkward between them, at first; though they seemed to have moved past what happened in the helicarrier, most lingering feelings left behind, it was pretty obvious even to Tony that neither of them were very good at ‘talking’.

But then Steve started hanging out in the workshop, and Tony started to ‘educate’ him via movie nights on the common floor, and somehow along the way they became close friends. After a month it was clear both on the field and off, to everyone else, that Cap and Iron Man were something else when they were together.

What’s more, is that once Steve seemed to have gotten over the whole ‘LGBTQIA+ Rights’ spiel, he was incredibly tactile, for whatever reason.

More often than not, if he and Steve were sitting together during movie nights, they would eventually end up with Tony cuddling into Steve’s warm side (Super soldiers were like space heaters, and for someone with metal in them and got easily cold, it was an honest blessing) with his long fingers casually running through Tony’s hair.

Tony relished it, and made his heart feel all sorts of warm and gooey; even more so than when Rhodey or Pepper did the same thing.

He and Steve’s friendship only grew from there.

Even after Thor returned (who was almost even more tactile than Tony; apparently Asgardians didn’t put too much into personal space, which was a plus in Tony’s opinion) and Coulson was confirmed alive (which… that day still gave him whiplash when he remembered it) and the team was no longer ‘just a team’, Tony was still closer to Steve than any of the others.

And for the life of him, he couldn’t understand why, especially when Steve made it plenty clear that he enjoyed Tony’s company, too.

It wouldn’t be until after they had just finished another fight with Dr. Doom (who really needed to find a better hobby than just raining robots onto New York; that, or just actually talk to Reed already, really) and Clint made an offhand comment that things started to connect.

“So, Cap, Nat set you up for another date tonight, right?”

And Tony watched as Steve’s face turned a slight shade of pink, scrunching up in a way that was both adorable and cute on the otherwise handsome man.

And Tony suddenly felt… ill, for a lack of a better word. His stomach tightened, and the longer he thought about Steve going on a day with someone else, the unhappier (and more morose) he became.

It was only later when DUM-E brought over his favorite wrench to cheer him up that he realized that he was… sad. 

Sad that Steve, amazing, wonderful Steve who honestly deserved so much more than life gave him, was on a date with someone that wasn’t him.

When the true meaning of the thought hit, Tony didn’t even have it in him to panic; he just laughed wetly, ignoring the way everything began to blur as he blinked hard.

It didn’t matter; they were friends, best friends at that, and that was enough.

It had to be enough.

So, Tony did what he did best when faced with things like this: avoidance.

Where he and Steve did almost everything together (a fact he only realized after how lonely he was eating breakfast by himself in the penthouse instead of being on the common floor as he normally did) now it became where it was a rarity if Tony saw him once at all that day.

The workshop was locked down much more often now, with Tony holed up as he worked on important SI or SHIELD business. (Wasn’t a lie, but…)

During movie nights Tony began to sit in one of the arm chairs, effectively ending their cuddle sessions. (...Tony felt cold…)

And eventually lead to where Tony all but ran out of a room whenever Steve entered it. (His chest ached far too much just seeing him; is this what heartburn felt like?)

He knew that the Team was unhappy about all of this for whatever reason, frowning at him and Cap whenever they were in the same room, but he refused to say anything about it.

If (when) Steve got someone amazing to cuddle with, laugh with, spend time with, then it was better to cut things now than deal with the heartbreak later.

Even if Tony’s heart felt like it was always breaking now, it was still better. He had to believe that.

Except about a month after Tony’s revelation, it found Tony all but cornered in the common floor kitchen with Steve blocking the doorway with a weirdly determined yet nervous expression, the others in the game room down the hall. They were alone.

“Uh, hey, Cap,” Tony said, trying to put as much cheer as he could into the words as he stared at the coffee maker, all but mentally begging for it to work faster.

“Tony… can we talk?” 

“Sure, but I do have things I need to do, you know, busy things, and stuff…” Tony trailed off, feeling his face flush at his garbled half-sentences; very smooth. What happened to all his hard earned masks? 

This is one of the reasons why he couldn’t be around Steve; all of his defense just… fell apart.

Not mentioning that Tony wouldn’t mind that nearly as much if he thought he had even half a chance of Steve being interested in dating him…

“Tony?”

It was the strangled way he said it that made Tony lift his head more than anything, blinking out of his spiraling thoughts.

Steve had a very strange expression, one Tony had trouble deciphering; it was nervous energy, determination, and… maybe hope? Which didn’t make any sense-

“Tony.” Tony blinked, watching Steve shift on his feet before taking a deep breath, looking Tony right in the eyes. Wow, his eyes were beautiful like the sky, he knew that, but right now they were like sapphires… He always wondered where poets got their inspiration from, but like this, he thinks he could understand. “Tony, did you mean it?”

Obviously after three days of little to no sleep and running on nothing but coffee and smoothies, his higher brain functions had stopped working. Or something.

“Mean what?”

Steve sighed (which, history says that’s bad-) but then he just... smiled, amused and fond. It was a very warm smile; Tony especially liked that it was pointed at him.

“I’m glad you like it, but you didn’t answer the question, honey.”

And… Tony’s brain broke, like the rest of him.

“What?”

Tony watched, still reeling at being called a pet name, let alone ‘honey’, as Steve huffed, so fondly, before slowly walking over to the stunned genius. He gently took the coffee cup out of his hand, before one of those big, warm hands cradled his cheek.

“You really don’t know, do you?”

Tony blinked, face heating up even more, as he stared up into warm blue eyes and smiling pink lips.

Because what does that even mean?-

“It means that I love you, you stupid genius.”

Then before Tony could even begin to comprehend that, there were soft lips against his.

Thing is, he’s been kissed many times in his life; he never could go further, but kisses he can do.

But this? This kiss wasn’t like any of them before; not even kissing Pepper had felt like this.

Steve was kissed slow and soft, but not tentative or hesitant in any way, especially once instinct kicked in and Tony kissed back.

It was just… warm, and good, and cozy. Just like cuddling with Steve was like.

It was only when they pulled away that Tony realized his eyes had closed, and fluttered them open to see Steve looking at him like, like he’s something valuable and important, or something.

“Good?”

Now Steve looked hesitant and unsure, which no, that wouldn’t do at all.

Just to prove the point, Tony dropped a quick kiss on his lips, delighting in the way Steve just lit up.

“Yes. And if it wasn’t clear…” Tony began, hesitating as he fidgeted; he never felt this nervous before, and yet- “I love you, too.”

At least, he thought so. For all that sexuality was something he didn’t understand, romantic feelings were even more so.

With Rhodey, there was definitely no romantic feelings at all, he knew that; Rhodey was his brother, through and through. For Pepper, it was almost the same warm feeling, and he still felt it, but it was more like what he felt for Rhodey.

But Steve had the warmest smile on his face, like Tony just gave him the key to life, the universe, and everything, and the way it made Tony’s heart just swell… yeah, Tony was pretty sure this was love. 

The romantic kind.

And when Clint and the others started cheering, startling the two of them, but Steve only tightening his arms in embarrassment like he thought Tony would run away, Tony himself laughing giddily about all of it, he thought, well, maybe it was okay to be unsure, it didn’t make him ‘broken’.

Well, he had all the time in the world to figure it out, with the best sort of crazy family and wonderful friends at his side. 

And that was enough.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on my tumblr (@saraceaser) and was posted on here after some minor editing.
> 
> Fun Fact: The title (and alternate title) are what I used in my docs since I couldn't think of anything else. The actual title is based on a silly phrase my mom used to tell me as a child (I think it was something like 'hugs, rugs, and ladybugs' or something like that; it rhymed, idk.) and she sometimes calls me a 'cuddlebug' because I'm very tactile and love hugs and cuddles. So... the title was born! 
> 
> Anyways, hope you liked it? I put in Actual Effort for this one, and despite my misgivings on it (mainly the fact that some of the grammar in it still irritates me but whatever), so hope you liked it!
> 
> Um, just drop a comment if you want to tell me anything? Either way, hope you have a lovely day! <3


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